The New Twilight Eclipse Moon

I wanted to clear the air on a misconception that most of you out there have - no, I am not reading the Twilight Series....should anyone ask please let them know that. Candidly, yes, I am reading the Twilight series, but no one is ever going to know that - is that understood? I have made powerful friends in Salem, farmers and grape growers that you would never want to mess with (mainly because they smell like manure - but that is beside the point). In the spirit of not taking responsibility, I am going to blame this one on Brandon. Let me explain: Stacey has been trying to convince me for a very long time to read the series, but I always responded with 'maybe someday' (which in man-terms means 'never,' along with 'okay,' 'I'll get right on it,' 'Yes Dear' and 'Right after the game' - which is technically true but we didn't tell you that it will be right after the BCS Championship game in 2029). Stacey and I were having a conversation about how Brandon joined a dance troupe because a girl asked him to do it. Stacey asked me 'Would you have ever joined a dance troupe for a girl in High School?" I responded with an enthusiastic "Heck, yeah!" An answer to which I dug my own grave - Stacey then said "So, you would join a dance troupe for a girl, but you won't read The Twilight Series for me?" Several strong, poignant four letter words raced through my mind, but there was no way I could respond other then "Boy, that chainsaw is a beauty isn't it? A real manly tool." I was trapped - and I knew it. So, I read the Twilight book and I am now in the middle of New Moon. New moon has taken me about a month and a half to get through - I said I would read it but there was no time limit as to when I would finish it. The books have been a little difficult to get through. But once I got past the "what a magnificent creature" and "a perfect face" and "adonis-like features" and "beautiful" and "amazing chest" from Stacey's buttering me up, I decided to start reading the series....